It was discovered as a consequence of a routine mammogram last fall. I had scheduled a series of medical check-ups, making an attempt to put all routine health matters behind me prior to embarking upon my first call in ministry. I got as far as having my teeth cleaned and going in for the mammogram.
Breast Cancer 101 now a month behind me, I need to pick up where I left off and take care of the rest of my body.
I find that I have been unable to make a single call. Even the idea of the two fillings I need sets my heart pounding. (Figuratively speaking.) And the other things? Terrifying.
Merely observations. No advice needed.
Yes. It continues to amaze me how cancer has changed my life.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. Same here.
ReplyDelete(((Robin))) Thank you for directing me to Michele on FB! (re chemistry mentioned on my blog)
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! If your own Lovely Daughter decides to pursue graduate work in chemistry, Michelle would be a wonderful online ally and advisor.
DeleteYes. Even though I wasn't the patient, medical appointments take me back there, especially ultrasounds - the darkened room, the hum of the machinery. It's enough to make me quiver, just typing this. May you be filled with the courage you need to do it, and may grace and peace accompany you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it would be exponentially worse if the patient were my child.
ReplyDeleteAnd btw, I made all the appointments. We'll see if I show up. I already postponed one of them 3 weeks.
ReplyDeleteI could live a dang long time before I would want to hang out with a urologist, though I imagine some may be OK
ReplyDeleteStratoz, you made me LOL! Yes, I could live a good long time and never encounter another surgeon of any stripe, and I would have no regrets.
ReplyDeleteI also get that heart-pounding, 'please don't make me' feeling. And I've not ever had a bad result.
ReplyDeleteBut I think my body has some traumas in there that it remembers, and if I let myself just sit with those feelings, it ends up feeling a lot like I'm comforting someone else. And I don't mean literally just sit there - I mean that I take those feelings into a meditation where I try to envision the place from which they come. And it feels a lot like me sitting with someone else.
I don't know why that is so much easier than me simply caring for my own self. But there it is.