Nutrition and Vision

Since y'all asked . . .

The explanation for my double vision: a miniscule and and momentary arterial blockage that damaged the nerve that, unfortunately, controls FOUR eye muscles and the eyelid and pupil.

The immediate consequences: a pupil that remained completely dilated and an eyelid that could not be opened for about 10 days, and a world that looked entirely and diagonally x2 for about six weeks.  I would see, for instance, a building that I was confident was located on the left side of the street lying on its side on the right side.  Two of them.

The healing: It has indeed  taken about ten weeks, as predicted.  The doctor said that a bruised nerve is like a sprained ankle: the damage is not permanent, but it takes a long time for the swelling to subside.

The cause: After about a zillion tests (no tumor, no stroke, no aneurysm, no diabetes, no this, no that, no, no, no), the only one with a significant number was for a marker called C-reactive protein, which indicates arterial inflammation.  And arterial inflammation, I have learned, is now believed to be a possible major culprit behind heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and Alzheimer's.

The test: A simple blood test that should probably be done routinely, as it scopes out this issue in individuals who otherwise seem pretty healthy.  My number wasn't particularly exciting but, as the doc said, "You've had an incident.  View it as a warning sign of something that could do major damage, but for now is reversible."

The solution: Omega 3, reduced fat, lots of colorful veggies, and good-bye to the white stuff.

The personal challenge:  I don't take any vitamins or meds regularly, and I'm finding it to be a difficult habit to develop.  I like, of course, all the foods that are terrible for me.  And while I have nothing against veggies, the fact that I can't smell means that they all taste the same to me -they taste  like crunchy water.  (Imagine my surprise one day when my husband mentioned that the peppers in the spaghetti sauce were too strong.  I use them for texture; I had no idea that peppers have a taste!)  Sugar and salt and  fat , however, taste good even to me.  Oh well.

I am trying to come to come to terms with the idea of eating as being solely about fuel, preferably healthy fuel.  And, perhaps, community and conversation.  I think that my days of  enjoying what little taste I find in food are pretty much over.

I'm sure that if you're a creative vegetarian cook, this is probably not the sad kind of news for you that it is for me.  But if you're someone who could not distinguish one vegetable from another with your eyes closed, someone for whom salad dressing and dark chocolate (that delectable combination of sweet and bitter) are  major food groups ~ it's pretty depressing.

On the up side: I can see!

Update on Double Vision: Literal Stuff

I think that tomorrow marks 10 weeks since the fateful day on which my vision went ker-plop!  I've been driving for two-plus weeks now, though I'm still afraid of the dark and the interstate.  A glance to the far left is still a little problematic; my left eye is the tiniest fraction of a second slower than my right.  I'm thinking another week. And my eyes get tired quickly, but the excruciating pain of trying to force nerves to do things they cannot is gone.

Why I like my opthamologist-neurologist:   When she called one evening to explain what happened, she spent nearly half an hour on the phone explaining the nutritional causes behind my little crisis.  She could so easily have referred me to any of half a dozen other people. 

Now if only one could revise one's eating habits as quickly and completely as one's vision can go haywire.  Also, if a contacts person could keep track of the two pairs of glasses she now needs!  Both would be major achievements.

My son has kindly offered me his notebook computer for the next several weeks while I save for my own.  Once I install Kindle and a photoshop program, I'm good to go.  Between the vision thing and the laptop thing, my reading and photo frustrations have been  . . . um, frustrating.

Maybe I'll get to the metaphorical stuff tomorrow.


Image here.

Miscellaneous Monday: Blood, Vision, Holy Week

Conversation with phlebotomist this morning:

"So, how did you get into this line of work?"

"Oh, I always wanted to draw blood!"

Raised eyebrows.

"Yes, it's what I always wanted to do.  I guess that sounds kind of weird."

"It sounds very weird."

"Well, when I was little I was sick a lot, and it seemed that no one knew how to do their jobs very well.  So I decided that I wanted to do one of those jobs and do it very well so that people weren't hurt."

Fifteen or so little vials later . . .

"You did well!  I'm so glad that you were able to turn the bad things from your childhood into something good for others."

"Oh, it wasn't so bad.  Well, actually, yes.  Yes, a lot of bad things happened."

"Thank you so much for what you learned from them."

**********

I am actually learning how to get along with double vision.  The human brain's capacity to compensate is astounding.  I can't type with both eyes open, but I can look at you from a small distance and figure out which one is really you and which one is the extra.

Maybe I 'll be able to drive eventually.  Not yet.  Gregarious Son took me to Target yesterday and people kept appearing out of nowhere. I have no peripheral vision.  Imagine if they were cars.  Well, no - don't.

**********

This deserves a post of its own: I discovered an amazing website yesterday.  The art ~ incredible.  If you like to pray with art, may I suggest spending some time with these paintings this week?  There's an accompanying liturgy, too, if you are more comfortable with words.

**********

It's interesting, isn't it ~ how much you see when you think you can't?

Micellaneous Monday: The Good Stuff

Thank you all for listening to and commenting on my venting earlier today. I got some of it out of my system and then went on to some good, good things:

I got to do spiritual direction with two people today, one by phone and one in my home. (The driving problem.)  Both of them are making the Ignatian Exercises and really, it is one of the most wonderful things in the world to accompany someone on that particular journey.  One is near the end, which means that she is walking with Jesus through the last days of his earthly life in her daily prayer at exactly the most perfect time in the calendar and church year.  I am hopeful that she will experience Easter with more joy and amazement than ever before.

I got to meet with a friend and discuss some retreat work we are planning to do together.

A pastor friend and mentor called, so I got to bemoan my current state of affairs, long and loud.  That helped, too.  (Thanks, J!)

I got to prepare this week's college classes, which are mostly on inter-religious dialogue, one of my most favorite topics.  My students run much of the gamut of Judeo-Christian religious experience and faith, but they are all gentle and curious and open-hearted and lovely human beings.  Most of them seem to enjoy a class in which all questions are welcome and all viewpoints are addressed seriously.  I am really looking forward to this week.

Even though I can't actually "look" at much. I also had time for a long nap and I can go to bed soon ~ much needed, because the strain on my eyes is intense.

Our next topic in the class I'm teaching is Hinduism, in which much of the focus is on the visual as opposed to the linguistic apprehension of the Divine.  How ironic can life get ?!

Image: Sandy Frazier, Third Eye

Miscellaneous Monday: Eyes and Church

I hate it when people talk about their physical ailments all the time.  So, permit to to discuss mine:  Yeah, still total double vision.  I've been reading up on its likely cause.  Not good.

My preoccupation with this matter has given me a respite from my obsessive thinking about Josh.  Paradoxically, the reality of his death makes this not such a big deal.  I'm guessing that, had this happened three years ago, I would have been in a complete panic.  Today:  OK, one more bad thing, and not so bad at that, relatively speaking.

OTH, the Lovely Daughter tells me:  Mom, this is your general approach.  Something minor that is unlikely to end badly?  Your anxiety level skyrockets. Something hugely disastrous?  You are completely calm.

**********

Yesterday, I learned that a good friend is leaving the PC(USA) and seeking ordination elsewhere.  The lack of support shown by her local governing body has finally caused her to shake the dust from her feet.

I have often thought of doing the same, for somewhat different reasons.  Mostly:  No call prospects.  I won't belabor the point but, objectively speaking, if you looked at what I've accomplished over the past few years, you might think the church would be interested in my service.  It's not.

I have a invitation to interview for something outside the church this week.  The only financially responsible thing to do, and a job I could love.  But I sure didn't have to turn my life upside down to go to seminary in order to do it.

**********

From a holistic standpoint:

Is the vision thing connected to Josh?  Are my eyes (or their accompanying nerves) which can no longer function in concert responding to the exhaustion of 2.5 years of trying to keep it all together?

Or is it connected to the church?  What am I not seeing, about myself, my call, and the church?

**********

Off to a meeting (my son is driving) for some other work I've been invited to do that has nothing to do with the PC(USA).