I got up and looked at my computer screen and sent the following email:
Dear Mr. Kaleem,
For the past day, I have been staring at headlines claiming that "Pastor
Rick Warren's son committed suicide," including one above your own
article.
You are in a position to have an effect on the usage of that horrific
phrase, "committed suicide."
Most people who die of suicide, especially those who die due to acute or
prolonged mental illness (which is, indeed, the vast majority of people who so
die) do not "commit" suicide, any more than someone "commits" a heart attack, or
cancer, or diabetes.
Death by suicide is not a crime.
It only adds to the anguish of survivors to hear and read a phrase that
implies that their loved one intended to leave them, as you or I would
understand the meaning of the phrase, or engaged in criminal activity.
You and the Huffington Post wield the power of the media, and are in a
position to influence the language we use to describe mental illness and one of
its possible consequences.
Please consider altering yours to terms such as "died of suicide" or "died
by suicide," words that you might use to describe other means of death.
I am a suicide survivor and a pastor,
and I thank you for your consideration.
*****
I had a serious discussion with someone whose (self-described) black-and-white theology leaves no room for my multi-hued and shaded version.
*****
And then, for the first time, I baptized a beautiful little baby. And proclaimed as loud and as long and as emphatically as I could that God's love is abundant and limitless and will not be subverted.
*****
Because if I did not believe that, I would not be a suicide survivor, and I would not be baptizing any babies.
Sitting here weeping- oh Robin, how moving. I really have no words, so let me shut up and send my prayers and love.
ReplyDeleteIsn't baptism the greatest!
ReplyDeleteHugs and prayers.
Response to email:
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rev. Mary. We updated our story to say "died of suicide" based upon reccomendations from experts (http://reportingonsuicide.org/Recommendations2012.pdf).
A lesson learned, now sparing someone else that additonal grief of misused words....
Deletebaptism is one of, if not the, most favorite part of my ministry.
Utterly glad you wrote! And enjoying the beaming baptizer and baptized....
ReplyDeleteYou are beaming in this picture. And so glad that your letter had an impact. As I've said before, you are a natural-born teacher and advocate. (I recognize that some advocacy roles are ones we would never ever have chosen.)
ReplyDeleteWhen I read about your day, I reflected on how appropriate a title you chose for your blog for it encompasses your experiences today. You are amazing - God has given you gifts and you continue to use them in spite of how difficult it can be at times.
ReplyDeleteOn a different note - what a glorious picture! Thanks for sharing.
Have I told you this already?
ReplyDeleteA woman I know well and respect once shared with me that, at a very dark point in her life, another person told her the decision to keep or lose her life was her own. She had been thinking of suicide, and somehow that other person's affirmation that the control was in her hands turned things around for her. Knowing that it was her choice helped her to choose to keep living.
I still don't know what to make of that, and I certainly don't use "committed suicide" language, but I think about her story a lot.
I can see how that would work if someone else has an opportunity to intervene before the suicidal person is sucked into the trance-like tunnel from which there seems to be no return, unless the attempt fails.
DeleteYou two are just stunningly beautiful in this picture.
ReplyDeleteWhat a blessing you were that day, to God only knows how many people -- and then again, to all of us reading this. Thank you for sharing.