The headline at which I am staring says that "RFK Jr.'s 2nd wife, Mary, hanged herself."
A little bit further down, a friend of hers is quoted as saying, "I saw her a couple of weeks ago, and she was fine."
Well, no. She wasn't.
Could we kindly allow it to be acceptable to be not fine?
When I am not fine, I tell very few people. I am supposed to be over it, supposed to be strong, supposed to be moving on.
There are a couple of older women in my congregation who suffer a great deal from back pain. When I ask either of them how she is, she says "Fine." I raise my eyebrows and ask, "How much are you lying?" "I don't want to be a whiner," is a frequent response.
A couple of weeks ago, someone I know told people that her relative who is dying of cancer "is doing great."
When my son was not fine, he told no one and he died.
When Mary Kennedy was not fine, she died as well.
It is all right to be not fine.
Here's the spiritual take: When Jesus Christ was not fine, he did not say, "I'm doing great." He said, "Why have you forsaken me?"
Am I wrong to think that if we were better able to listen for feelings of forsakenness, we might save lives?