Saturday, September 4, 2010


Thanks to all for the avalanche of prayers over the past week.  I felt very much supported through the four-plus days I spent researching and writing my exegesis exam.  As I said, I have no particular feelings or sense about the outcome, and I won't know until the end of October. In the meantime, I have just finished the cumbersome online application for substitute teaching in our local district.  It's incredibly frustrating to have completed seminary and find myself set back 20 years but that, apparently, is going to be part of the process for me.

I spent a chunk of September 2 by myself out at the beach.  It was a perfect day: really hot and sunny, warm lake water and gentle waves, and a vast and almost empty stretch of beach ~ kids back in school and concession stands closed.  There was a woman who had set up close to my spot who spent a lot of time playing at the edge of the water with her twin boys ~ they must have been about three ~ but I found that I could pretty much absorb the resulting sense of pain as I remembered when I was that mother with little boys at the beach.

In the evening we went down to the cemetery, and unexpectedly ran into some friends.  I've left various things down there ~ a shell from a family trip to Lake Michigan, a stone and some feathers from the beach here ~ and my friends had brought flowers and sea urchin shells. (I'm trying to add more photos, but am getting no co-operation from Blogger.  If I get a chance later, I'll supplement.)  I think makes it a nice surprise for the few folks who happen down the trail through the woods, and Josh would appreciate that.

This afternoon we are off to my husband's brother's retirement party.  I imagine that people will take due note of the newly retired mailman and will then move on to the real stars of the evening: his two brand new grand-children. That will be tough for me, to see those cousins who look so much like twins, but I am working on ways to both enjoy and protect myself ~ which include leaving early.

The Lovely Daughter has gone to D.C. for the week-end, to rendevous with Montessori middle school and camp counselor friends. We expect her back tomorrow, Australian gentleman in tow, to help celebrate friends' 40th wedding anniversary. I for one am looking forward to meeting the new fellow ~ any young man who makes his way from his own farm in Australia to work on a summer camp farm in North Carolina is well worth knowing, in my book.

The other news:  It's COLD! 


  1. An Australian gentleman friend? Very cool. Best of luck with the substitute teaching thing. Any class would be so blessed to have you.

  2. The news about cool: I am officially jealous. Ninety plus today and so humid my glasses kept clouding over every time I walked outside. And keeping our eyes on Gaston which threatens to reform. Yuk. This is the part of Florida I don't like...

    Peace be with you as you start a new week.

  3. Thank you for updating us about your difficult week. I am so glad you could feel the prayers and support and love being sent your way. I hope you feel relief now that it's over.I know I am always relieved when those days pass, and I can go back from intense pain to "normal" grieving. The beach was a good idea, as nature seems to help in absorbing the pain.

    I loved seeing Josh's bench and all the symbols of his precious life, despite the fact that I am so very sorry that the need for one exists. I am also glad that your friends honored him. It's a beautiful spot and I like being able to visualize the place that you go to when you visit him.

    I am sorry about the substitute teaching and the sense of setback that goes with it, but hope and pray that it will be a surprise blessing till the next door opens.

    You are very loved and prayed for right now, and that extends to your dear family as well.

  4. I need to visit that bench and leave something of myself even if it is only thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the picture!

    I have been with you, my friend, in thoughts, prayers, and much love. I only wish there was a way to make that more tangible.

    Much love from here!

  5. re the substitute teaching...I know exactly how you feel as I ponder whether I need to go back and get recertified as a massage therapist, the work I did until 10 years ago when I was ordained. As much as I loved that work, it's not exatly the trajectory I imagined...sigh...

    the bench for Josh brings tears to my eyes every time you post a photo of it and relect on it, it's such a sweet tribute to him, you.

    and I'm loving this cooler weather.

    glad the exam is OVER and hope you passed...