Friday, September 13, 2013

Breast Cancer Miscellany, Two Years Later

1.  I went swimming this summer.  It was glorious, absolutely glorious, to float on the gentle ocean waves and watch the sunlight sparkle all across the water.
I did not wear the swimsuit on which I had spent $100.  Well, I wore it once.  Not only was it the World's Ugliest Swimsuit; it did not perform as advertised.    Very secure sports bra and t-shirt after that.  Honestly, basic attire is so complicated now.
2.  I was looking at the results in the mirror the other day.  I actually thought, "This is not so completely terrible."  Wow.  I have no standards at all.  But I did feel  a twinge of regret for the way I reamed the plastic surgeon resident post-surgery.  I may have no standards, but I do have a fine vocabulary.  He probably didn't deserve to be exposed to it so very thoroughly.
3.  What brought this on?  Honestly, I don't give it much thought anymore.  But this week an $800 bill came out of nowhere for my lumpectomy just about two years ago.  After way too much time spent tracking it down, we concluded tonight that we actually owe it.  :(    It's dumbfounding to look at the insurance statements from that period -- a $40,000 bill here, a $25,000 adjustment there, another $40,000 here, several more adjustments there.  None of the really big numbers connected to anything tangible. 
4.  And a friend of mine is dealing with BC#2, on the other side, this month, after, I think, an eight-year hiatus.  My mammogram is in November.  Well.  S--t.


  1. You guys need medical care like we have in Canada -- whether we like it or not we get it and the payments go on a sliding scale according to your income. Charging the sick that kind of money is in itself sick. Makes me mad.

    As for the previous comment re: Abraham and Isaac, the lesson is that we put God first in all matters which is what is meant by pitting brother against brother, daughter against mother: If a matter goes against God's law then we go with God's law. People need drama to learn a lesson or we forget it pretty fast hence the terrible story of willing sacrifice. God did stop him. God already knew what Abraham would do but he wanted Abraham to see it too.

    I pray that your mammogram is clear.

    Linda G (WriterLinda) from the Ignatian site.

  2. Thanks for the prayer.

    As to the other, I guess I see things in many more shades of gray than you do. Which understanding of God do we put first? How do you know or define or follow God's law? Do we need drama to learn? (My experience tells me no.) There was no sacrifice here, but was Abraham willing or not? Did God know in advance or not? And those questions are only the beginning.

  3. There is no gray in the Commandments. The first one says God is God, not our sons or mothers or friends or money or food or even religion. Nobody knows whether God knows in advance what we will do although he will sometimes change his mind on things so I think it's more of him being able to see the big picture and hoping things will go the way people are meant to do those. We don't need drama, we respond to drama and burning bushes and then we pay attention. For five minutes. I believe this story is about Abraham testing himself to see whom he really puts first.

    It's not what life gives us anyway, it's how we are with it so if we interpret the story differently it's how we use that in our life. No I don't think God is terrible, I think he needed to teach us a terrible lesson. With that in mind we can think before we jump into things and decide who we follow.