Conversation overheard while waiting for elevator, after dog has been seen walking down the hallway:
"People are allowed to bring pets to visit, and sometimes therapy dogs come."
"I don't like animals. Never have. I would never harm an animal, but I wouldn't want one either. They're a big responsibility."
Pause, and then the same lady adds:
"I don't like plants either. You have to take care of them, too."
At that point I burst out laughing, and thus was discovered standing behind them.
90-year-old man's assessment of sermons at assisted living facility: "They don't preach sermons for old people here! They preach about Jesus and love and all that stuff; we've got that down."
Me: "What would be a good sermon for old people?"
My parishioner: "Celebrate us! Celebrate our lives of work and service!"
Wife: She's 100 years old. She looks pretty good, don't you think?
Husband: Oh, yeah. She certainly doesn't look 100!