Ordination exam results arrived today - a week early. I passed three and failed . . . . . .
Hebrew.
I have been so angry and depressed all afternoon.
For the non-Presbys out there, this means that I will have to come back here at the end of the summer and try again, that I will have to spend five more days producing another 20-page paper to be read by people unknown to me who may well never have studied Hebrew or Greek, that I will have to wait till late October for the results, and that everything about my future call is stalled for six months.
We have only the pass/fail info; the actual graded exams with scores and comments won't arrive for several days. I've already forwarded my exam itself to two professors, one of whom responded quickly and kindly to remind me that I did outstanding work in my Hebrew and Exegesis courses. (Unfortunately, he is not a grader!) And certainly we have been told repeatedly that our professors are often mystified when they see the results and read our papers.
But still.
I am trying to regain my sense of humor by thinking about the Plan B I have had in mind: to ask my former employer, the Jewish school in which I taught for several years, whether they needed anyone to teach a couple of courses in the fall.
"Hey, Rabbi, I failed the Hebrew exam and I need a job."
I think that that should go over well.
Hebrew.
I have been so angry and depressed all afternoon.
For the non-Presbys out there, this means that I will have to come back here at the end of the summer and try again, that I will have to spend five more days producing another 20-page paper to be read by people unknown to me who may well never have studied Hebrew or Greek, that I will have to wait till late October for the results, and that everything about my future call is stalled for six months.
We have only the pass/fail info; the actual graded exams with scores and comments won't arrive for several days. I've already forwarded my exam itself to two professors, one of whom responded quickly and kindly to remind me that I did outstanding work in my Hebrew and Exegesis courses. (Unfortunately, he is not a grader!) And certainly we have been told repeatedly that our professors are often mystified when they see the results and read our papers.
But still.
I am trying to regain my sense of humor by thinking about the Plan B I have had in mind: to ask my former employer, the Jewish school in which I taught for several years, whether they needed anyone to teach a couple of courses in the fall.
"Hey, Rabbi, I failed the Hebrew exam and I need a job."
I think that that should go over well.
Robin, I hear you...so well. It is a very broken system we have to jump through.
ReplyDeletehonestly! it should be enough that you think and write so beautifully in English! harrmmph! I am indignant for you! So very unfair!
ReplyDeleteRobin,
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry you are caught up in our crazy system! Prayers abound for you in your Plan B state. But, seriously, CONGRATS on passing the other 3. You are still in the minority of the group. Hang in there.
Love your humor!!
Ugh. The disappointment is a blow I know too well. I hear echoes of my footsteps toward ordination. If you can trust the voices of others who have gone before you (that would include me, tho you don't know me), all will be well. It is my firm belief that in spite of the stalling and the eagerness that chomps on that bit, a gift will emerge from this. God has ways of bringing mountains low and valleys wide. You walk a path with more companions than you realize.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that your hard work in this class was not rewarded with a "pass." BUT, HOORAY! You passed three out of four! Good for you!
ReplyDeleteIf you said that to a Rabbi, I'll bet he would have some words of encouragement for you...and would enjoy your sense of humor. And you never know, you might get hired, too!
Please take heart. You are SO VERY talented and gifted. It's just one exam; it's not an assessment of your worth, intelligence, effort or your character. Sending much love and many cyber hugs of encouragement.
In the Episcopal Church our "GOE's" (General Ordiantion Exams) have the same quality of gamey-ness. Even if you can make lemonade out of the lemons, it does not in any way diminish the fact that this is a silly game that does little to build up the kingdom. I'm so sorry...
ReplyDeleteI say.... teach Hebrew at the Jewish school
ReplyDeleteStratoz, you gave me a big smile first thing in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering if one of the learned rabbis at the aforementioned school would be willing to tutor you a bit this summer prior to reexamination time. I'm so sorry, Robin. You did work very hard for this. But, 3 out of 4 is FABULOUS!
ReplyDeleteAnd, as a non-Christian who has difficulty with seminaries that don't teach ALL faiths and history, I appreciate that your seminary does require this. However, methinks you'll be every bit as good a pastor with a fail as a pass on this exam. I wish your coursework was enough to get you the mark you need.
RAZZLEFRACKZIT!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Robin. I can just imagine how upsetting this is for you. Honestly, I don't know why passing the seminary course isn't enough if the seminary is accredited with the denomination.
Oh h---. I'm sorry. The ord exams are the most unChristian aspect of our call process. On my exegesis exam I got a 5 and a low 3. The 5 (a pastor who had been a grader for years) said it was one of the best he had read. The 3 said really dumb things. We should not let elders grade these things. And, there is a very real political movement to fail people on political grounds. When I retire I'm gonna try to get on the grader list.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I hate this for you.
I'm moving back to Cleveland in 2012. I want to do the exercises and I'm thinking of asking you to be my spiritual director. Sending love your way.
You know, I thought I might have problems with theology or worship on political/theological grounds since I don't use masculine pronouns for God, but I decided that there was no point in pretending to be someone whom God has not called me to be.
ReplyDeleteI think I might know where I went off track, but I'm going to wait and see what the readers said. Of course, I could have just done something incredibly stupid in the language part.
JC, I'm so glad you're coming back! And I would love to accompany you thru the Exercises.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on passing 3--and I am so sorry you missed on the other.
ReplyDeleteAlso appalled as a scholar that a Hebrew exam could be graded by someone who didn't know Hebrew. Maybe they bundle it with Hebrew Bible exegesis, but still...Also surprised that, if I am understanding correctly, pastors with only master's level preparation and that possibly far past, and no college or graduate/seminary teaching experience, would be grading such exams.
Gag. Because passing a test is a sure way to measure who will be a good pastor. The flyboys in my class who passed with flying colors were jerkfaces IRL.
ReplyDeleteOy. I am so SOOOo sorry. I guess it doesn't make sense to me because I'm not in a denominational stream (which has its own issues...) Prayers for peace and for a stompin' excellent score the next time!!!
ReplyDeletedrats. drats. drats. hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a bummer. Yes, I have known Episcopal classmates who I just know will make wonderful priests yet who have been marked poorly on GOEs. You know the truth in your heart--believe it!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to read this post. I applaud you for looking at the situation thoughtfully and with humor. I have faith in you and in the future for you.
ReplyDelete