Friday, April 8, 2011

Darkness to Light

Dorcas at the RevGals' Friday Five today invites us to supply evidence in our lives of darkness into light.

I could probably do that in a big way, but instead I am reflecting on the very small space of dark-light frustration in which I find myself at the moment with this double-vision diagonal-world problem.

I have to choose between far and near distance.  I'm sitting at the dining room table typing, but if I want to go and do the laundry or clean the bathroom, I'll have to put a contact in first, so that I can see, you know, the walls. (Clearly, I mean. I can run into them just fine without a lens.)  Then if I want to do some reading or writing, I have to take the lens out.

My right eye gets really tired.  So I'll switch the patch.  Oops -- can't balance with my left eye only.  Can't even think about going near the stairs.  The table, seen with my left eye only, is not where it actually is.

How do I feel about going out in public with this eye patch?  Oh - not an issue.  There's no one available to drive me anywhere today.

I was worried about my Sunday sermon drawing too much attention to my own experience.  Now I have to worry about my very presence drawing too much attention to myself.  My sermon is in 28-point font at the moment.  I am going to have to do the same with the bulletin and readings. 

This has the potential to activate major depression.  I can't take any movement or activity for granted; I have to plan and try to foresee (ha ha) everything.  REALLY tedious.

There are plus sides, of course.  I didn't die of an aneurysm and I'm not trying to recover from a stroke.  The neuro-folks are five minutes away.  I had completely forgotten about the distance many people have to travel for that kind of expertise until I was leaving and the nurse asked, How long a trip home do you all have?  Up the hill, I said, puzzled, and then realized that most people don't have such speedy access to these kinds of specialists.  (Actually, most people here don't either, but I'm not harping on health insurance at the moment.  Although it reminds me to be grateful for my husband's job.  Our insurance is expensive, but it's there.)

I am hoping that embedded somewhere in my brain tissue there's a nerve in the process of healing itself.  That would be a good resurrection for me right now.


  1. i am sure anyone reading this post... will lift you in prayer for the resurrection you hope for. prayers to you...

  2. Good gracious....holding you in prayer while this vision issue gets diagnosed and resolved.

  3. Sorry to hear about this, prayers for a quick recovery.

  4. We have that surprisingly rich phrase in English: "You are getting on my last nerve" and as I read about "a nerve in the process of healing" I pondered that perhaps today it is getting the attention it has been seeking - this last nerve.

    I don't know, that probably doesn't make any sense. But I do hope this nerve heals quickly, and that your tasks ahead are amenable to be taken slowly and in 28 pt font!

    Love and prayers,


  5. Oh I hope this passes soon. It sounds very frustrating!

  6. praying for quick and complete recovery!

  7. Healing thoughts and prayers headed your direction, Robin. Wishing you a refuah shlemah.

  8. Oh, Robin! So glad you are basically OK, and so sorry you are still suffering. Praying for you and if you need anything I can help you with, just give me an email/phone call. I am close by, spirit and in fact.

  9. I was thinking that a hot bubble bath and a glass (or plastic cup, depending on your eyesight) of wine sound like a good next step...if someone can help you run the bath and get in & out of it. Are you allowed any alcohol? Prayers for your recovery, and for encouragement to lighten your heart until then.

  10. thanks for the update. I amazed myself and remembered you when I picked up my drum last night. Hope and Peace.

  11. Thanks, everyone, especially for the prayers and especially for those is drumming form.

    On Day 4 now, so late last night I read all about double vision, nerve damage, and prism lenses. I think this may not be a temporary thing, so I'm working on more cosmetically tolerable solutions than a pirate patch.