He-Qi's Praying at Gethsemane
...Become aware that God has been expecting you for quite some time in the deepest dungeon of your rubbled-over heart. Become aware that he has been quietly listening for a long time whether you, after all the busy noise of your life, and all the idle talk that you called your illusion-free philosophy of life, or perhaps even your prayer during which you only talked to yourself, after all the despaired weeping and mute groaning about the need of your life, whether you finally could be silent before him and let him speak the word, the word that seemed only to be like a deadly silence to the earlier person who was you. You should feel that you are not falling at all when you give up the frantically violent interior anxiety about yourself and your life. You do not despair at all when you doubt yourself, your wisdom, your strength, your ability to help yourself to life and the freedom of happiness; rather, you are with him suddenly as a miracle that daily has to happen anew and never can become a routine. Suddenly you will experience that the petrifying visage of hopelessness is only God's rising in your soul, that the darkness of the world is nothing but God's radiance which has no shadow, that the apparent waylessness is only the immensity of God who does not need any ways because he is already there.
(Karl Rahner in The Need and the Blessing of Prayer; HT to Ryan Duns, SJ)
What I particularly love about He-Qi's painting, which a friend sent to me a few days ago and which I have made my screensaver for the week, is that everyone, including the disciples who are out cold, is in the light.
It is beautiful - I will keep in mind that all are in the light. I am really struggling with Lent this year. My overwhelming prayer is "Why have you forsaken me?"
ReplyDeleteThat one I know well.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing that beautiful letter. I've never seen it before, but it seems spot-on about the contemplative stance, and - perhaps - about mid-life spirituality. Certainly about "after the disaster" living. And the painting is lovely.
ReplyDeleteSending love to you.
This made me weep. It looks like my mom is slipping away pretty quickly now and I just finished "The Long Goodbye". Your observation that even the disciples, asleep and in so many regards clueless, are still in the light gave me a new sense of myself right now. Both terrifying and reassuring. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteFabulous quote, along with your commentary on the artwork. I have been reading Fr. Greg Boyle's book "Tattoos on the Heart" about what he has learned about faith from life with people in or affected by gangs, and the fact that every last one of us is already in the light is at the very heart of what he is expressing.
ReplyDeleteRosa, I'm so sorry about your mom.
ReplyDeleteHello Robin, so I tend to wait to the last minute to sign up for The Watch at my church, so it turns out I will be praying in a garden tomorrow. I have already set my alarm to go off to remind me as I am walking about Longwood Gardens. Maybe I should set it to go off every five minutes to keep me awake... If only the disciples had iPod Touches.
ReplyDeleteMy group enjoyed our monthly scheduled visit with the men at a local rescue mission last night. The small room that also serves as their dining area was packed on this occasion, from front to back stuffed with perhaps as many as thirty men. People, it seems to me, sometimes immediately have this mental image of those who are reduced to partaking of such outreach; but, always, I have found them a group ready and eager to worship Him with us, a place where "everyone, including the disciples who are out cold, is in the light". We spoke with them last night on being "saved by His life" and they ministered to us every bit as much as the other way around....
ReplyDeleteThank you. Thank you. Thank you. (Wiping tears from my eyes.)
ReplyDelete